


A Sequel with Markiplier

by Darky_Parky



Category: A Heist With Markiplier, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series), markiplier - Fandom
Genre: A Date With Markiplier, A heist with Markiplier - Freeform, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Alternate Timelines, Angst, Blood, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Character Death, Choose Your Own Adventure, Choose Your Own Character, Choose Your Own Ending, Comedy, Crossing Timelines, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Heist, Humor, Mystery, Pirates, Prison, Ridiculous, Romance?, Silly, Slow To Update, Spoilers, Swearing, Time Loop, Time Skips, Time Travel, Timeline Shenanigans, Timelines, Treasure Hunting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-16 21:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 11,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darky_Parky/pseuds/Darky_Parky
Summary: This is it! This is really it!





	1. A Prologue With The Author

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, not that kind of author

Back again? Odd. Some people actually like being outside of a horrible time loop, but to each their own I suppose. So, before we begin, could you possibly remind me where you left off? My notes say that there's five endings of your heist here and my notes never lie.

Did you possibly get lucky enough for the ever so handsome Mark Iplier to ask you on a date?

Or perhaps it was the dashing Illinois that captured your heart. . . but unfortunately not the treasure.

Are you a swashbuckling adventurer who only needs the deep blue of the sea and the friends you make for a home?

Are you an escape convict on the run from the law?

Or. . . okay there's only a pink squiggle here in crayon, I have no clue what that is. . . . We'll call that the mystery adventure.

So, choose the one you ended up with. Or even the one you didn't, I'm not the boss of you. 

A Date With Markiplier - [Chapter 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50762437)

An Adventure With Illinois - [Chapter 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50857198#workskin)

A Treasure Hunt With Captain Magnum - [Chapter 3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50857795#workskin)

A Prison Break With Yancy - [Chapter 4](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50856796)

A Pink Squiggle With Whomever the Fuck - [Chapter 5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50857930)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this adventure, I tried to make it as accurate as possible when it comes to Mark's sort of humor and writing. Don't be afraid to leave some criticisms or comments, any feedback is good feedback.


	2. Chapter 1

Are you sure? I mean, I'm not doubting your charms or your incredibly good looks, but something about this tells me this isn't how it went. Then again, I might just be paranoid. Could you just tell me if you're sure?

Yes - [Chapter 6](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50915866)

No - [Chapter 7](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50857975)


	3. Chapter 2

Are you sure? I just. . . I don't know. I got this feeling, you know? Then again, my memory's all over the place. You could be completely in the right. But, could you just humor me and tell me if you're sure?

Yes - [Chapter 8](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50762506)

No - [Chapter 9](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/51731926)


	4. Chapter 3

Sorry, my memory is all over the place lately. I'm sure that you're right, but I just gotta know. Are you sure you lived out your life as a pirate?

Yes - [Chapter 10](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50766415)

No - [Chapter 11](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50919763)


	5. Chapter 4

Really? . . . You don't seem like you escaped. . . . Maybe I got something wrong. Then again, I might just be paranoid. You gotta help me out here. Are you sure you broke out?

Yes - [Chapter 12](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50766664)

No - [Chapter 13](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50919811)


	6. Chapter 5

You'll get nothing out of life when you give caution to every little detail. Imagine how dreadfully boring that'll be. I'm falling asleep just thinking about that.

Life needs madness or else you'll become mad yourself. . . . Or perhaps you become mad anyway. Doesn't matter. What does matter is our unfinished interview that my manager so rudely interrupted. . . . Don't tell her I said that.

Anyway, you're not here to hear me ramble. You're here to finish what we started. Just, uh, reverse time, I'm sure your magic box is capable of doing that.

<<<

".hO .ees ll'eW ?derif I mA !gnimoC !gnimoC !woN .deen ruoy fo deifiton eb lliw I dna lleb siht gnir tsuj ,em deen uoy fi tuB .kcab thgir eb ll'I -hu ,lliw I .thgir lla ,yako ,mU .sesucxe erom evah I ,hU !woN .ti raeh annaw t'nod I !eciffo yM -I ,mu ,hA !nug ehT ?taht yas uoy sekam tahw ,hO .iH !tseug rehtona llik ot tuoba ton er'uoy wonk I ,hO .elcsum a evom t'nod tsuJ .ecaf ruoy no s'tI .evom t'noD ?evac taht morf ni ti gnirb uoy diD ?raey fo emit siht tA ?ereh ni ,otiuqsoM -ll'ew emit txen ebyaM .tuo sknik emos gnikrow llitS ... !maerc eci eerf a teg uoy ,weivretni ht01 yrevE .margorp weivretni tneuqerf ruo htiw pu tes uoy teg ll'I ,srewsna eht gnitteg er'uoy elihw tuB .taht ekil gnihtemos rof lufesu si xob cigam ruoy kniht I .emit esuap tsuj rewsna ruoy fo kniht ot emit erom ekat ot deen uoy fi dnA .gnileef eht rovas nac I os ,wols meht etirw dna sthguoht ticilli tsom ruoy fo lla nwod etirw ,sey ,hO .sdrow htiw em lleT !sdrow htiw em llet t'noD ?evol ni llaf uoy diD ?eid uoy diD ?meht ecreoc uoy diD ?uoy ecreoc yeht diD .lufituaeb tsom ot emosdnah tsom fo redro ni meht knar dna secilpmocca ruoy fo lla tsil dna ,hO .liated taerg ni em lleT ?yltcaxe ,laets uoy did tahw dna muesum taht bor uoy did yhW .seirots ynnuf emos ,setodcena emos ,snoitseuq llab-wol emoS .rehto hcae wonk ot teg s'teL .yawyna tegrof ll'I .rettam t'nseod ti ,hA ?niaga eman ruoy s'tahW ... !ruoh eht fo oreh eht ,ylno eht ,eno eht ,tseug laiceps ruO ."thginoT ehcatsfraW" fo edosipe ycips a evah ew ,ho dna ehcatsfraW drofliW si eman yM .nemeltneg dna seidal ,gnineve doog ,hu ,hO !cisum eht tratS .weivretni eht htiw no teg tsuj s'tel os ,nosrep gnivigrof a m'I tuB !htob gniod fo egrev eht no era uoy dnA .ylrae pu gniwohs elpoep si weivretni rieht rof etal pu gniwohs elpoep naht erom etah I gniht ylno eht dnA !etal er'uoy ,uoy tuB .uoy fo tuo hguone s'tahT !oN !xob eht nepO !llew sa ,oslA .oot seveels ruo pu kcirt rehtona tog ev'ew ,lap ,lleW .now ev'uoy kniht uoY .trams os er'uoy kniht uoy ,hO"

II

You arrive at the museum, it's a dark and quiet night, perfect night for a heist. You wait as an unassuming guard walked by, whistling before you emerged from the brush, grappling hook in hand. Running up to the wall, you quickly scaled it and fired your grappling hook. It lifted you up onto the roof of the museum. From there, you found the vent that was conveniently human sized and crawled through it. You found an opening and dropped down silently. You were in.

You got up and surveyed the place, trying to see if your partner had made it in yet.

Shouting could be heard from above you. You turned just in time for your partner to crash through a window and land clumsily. You peered around nervously, hoping that the guards here were oblivious enough to brush that off-

"This doesn't look like my interview room. Did we have a redecoration?" Looking back you found the man that crashed through the window wasn't Mark. Wilford turned to you and raised his eyebrows. "Oh! . . . We went too far back, didn't we?" You merely looked to him in confusion. "Not to worry, I always come prepared." He pulled out a remote and pressed a button.

>>>

"Let's synchronize our watches. On three-"

>>>>

"I was hoping you say that. Fire in the. . . fire in the hole!"

>>>>>

"You don't know how to fly a helicopter?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

II

You find yourself in an extremely dark hallway, an intense ring in your ears.

"Perhaps I am the crazy one." You heard the voice coming from down the hall. Slowly, you approach it. "Perhaps I am the crazy one." It's coming from a room. "Perhaps I am the crazy one." Through the crack in the door you can see a shadow of a man, sitting atop a counter. "Perhaps I am the crazy one." Swallowing your fear, you open the door. "Perhaps I am the-" you turned on the lights, revealing the man.

Wilford paused in applying eyeliner to turn to you. "Don't tell Damien I used his eyeliner." He pulled the remote out again and pressed another button.

<<<

".renileye sih desu I neimaD llet t'noD -eht ma I spahreP .eno yzarc eht ma I spahreP .eno yzarc eht ma I spahreP .eno yzarc eht ma I spahreP"

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>

II

A gunshot went off and Mark crumpled to the ground.

"It was me the whole time." You looked to Bob, shocked. "Maybe it's time you take off that mask, partner." He reached for your face and pulled off your mask, tossing it aside. He held up a mirror revealing you to be. . . . Mark gasped.

"You?" croaked Mark.

Wilford looked to Mark. "Didn't I kill you?"

"I-" Before Mark could respond Wilford had already pulled out his gun and fired.

"That takes care of that," he said, pulling out the remote and putting away the gun. "Third times the charm." He paused. "Or is it the fourth?" He waved a dismissive hand. "Doesn't matter." He pressed the button once more.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>

II

You rung the bell and paused. A moment later, Wilford exited Kathryn's office. "Ah, good, we finally got it. Thought we'd be lost in time and space. Which does sound tempting, but we have more important matters on our hands." Wilford opened his mouth to continue with his monologue only to close it. ". . . What was it again?"

Over Wilford's shoulder you could see two posters pasted to the wall. _Warfstache Tonight!_ and free tours of the building with some sort of warning label in extremely tiny print. "What is it? Do I have something on my face?" he gasped. "Is it that mosquito?!" He pulled out his gun and aimed it wildly. He paused, looking back at you and narrowed his eyes. "You look like you're making a decision." He aimed his gun at you. "It better be something fun. I'll be very upset if it isn't."

Continue Interview - [Chapter 14](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/58531318)

Take a Tour - [Chapter 15](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/58550812)


	7. Chapter 6

You don't exactly know how it all came about, but one faithful night outside of a museum Mark had asked you on a date and you accepted. Any type of adventure with Mark was definitely going to be an interesting one. 

You agreed to meet him tonight at six thirty at a nearby restaurant. It was kind of a hole in the wall, but you heard that the food was amazing. After dinner Mark planned to surprise you with. . . something. You're only hoping it isn't anything life threatening this time.

At the moment it's six o'clock. You're all dressed and you look as handsome and or beautiful as ever. You have maybe a few minutes before you should head down to the restaurant. Anything you'd like to do before then?

Pass Time on Phone - [Chapter 16](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62812567)

Preen - [Chapter 17](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62814709)

Get to Restaurant - [Chapter 18](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62814970)


	8. Chapter 7

You jolted awake, breathing rapidly, your skin coated in a thin sheet of sweat. You were in the van, it was dark. You tried to swallow but your mouth was too dry. You looked around and saw that the television was turned off, Halloween decorations were still up, beside you was the infrared thermometer and a flashlight.

You grabbed both of them and opened the door to the van. Your legs shook as you stepped out, it was like you haven't used them in a while. You closed the van and looked around the dark garage. You turned on the flashlight, pocketed the thermometer and looked around. Everything seemed normal.

You walked toward the door to the house and went to open it. You barely brushed the door knob when the door creaked opened. Being wary of who or what may be inside, you pushed open the door.

The house was quiet. Horribly quiet.

Slowly, you moved through the living room. You were hoping Mark was home, but you knew that'd be too good to be true.

You didn't know what it was, but something just seemed bleak about everything. As if the very life leaked out of the house itself. It made you feel more uneasy about everything.

You didn't find much on the first floor. You went upstairs in search for anybody that could be home. The steps creaked beneath you which was odd considering they would have to be exceptionally aged for that to happen.

The second floor seemed just as barren as the first. You went onto investigate the dark hallway beside the living room. You came upon a door to the left of you, from your memory, that was the bathroom.

You opened the door and turned on the lights. You didn't really get to investigate much of it after you saw the sink, you quickly turned the handles and scooped up handfuls of water to your mouth. You can't remember a time when you were this thirsty before.

After getting your fill, you straightened up and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. Your eyes meet your reflection and. . . it was different. Not drastically, but enough for it to be noticeable.

Your neck didn't seem straight and. . . was that blood on your clothes? You looked down only to see that you were fine. Confused, you looked back up at the reflection, realizing that it wasn't a reflection. Projection was a better word for it.

"_Do you remember?"_ he called from somewhere beyond. "_I said. ._ ." the mirror cracked. "_We__ were going to do great things together._" Everything went black.

* * *

"Back again, are we?" You found yourself seated at a dining table. He sat across from you, a dark soul draped in bright, nearly blinding light. He took a sip from his cup before continuing. "Thought I had given you what you wanted, didn't I?" You merely looked on with what should have been an unreadable expression.

"He found it before you did, didn't he?" He sighed. "Of course he did. He just takes away everything, doesn't he?" A projection of himself appeared beside him for a moment, crying out in anger. "Well, my apologies, you did all that work for nonsense however, not for nothing. He can't get us here and I still hold what you desire." In an instant, the box appeared beside him. He placed his glass down and took the box carefully into his hands, seemingly admiring it.

"Though, I can't just give it to you, can I? Wouldn't be any fun." He placed it down onto the table again. "I'll make it easier for you considering the trouble you went through the first time. Simply make the right choices and the answers will come to you. Anyone could do that." He paused, examining your face. "Unless, this isn't really what you want," he proposed, gesturing to the box.

"Perhaps you want something more than an indulgence of the mind. Perhaps you're different." He took a moment to think this over. "Then again, maybe not. The choice is yours. . . for once."

The Box - [Chapter 19](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62817721)

Something More - [Chapter 20](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62819770)


	9. Chapter 8

Oddly enough, you feel quite happy as you casually make your way out of the underground temple. Though, the heist might have been a bust and you'll have to explain how Mark was unfortunately crushed by a boulder, a golden banana and a diamond the size of your hand isn't half bad.

You're pondering what you'll be able to do with your new found earnings. You could buy a new house, one of those big fancy ones with more than one staircase and a golf course and a swimming pool. . . . Though, that could get lonely. Especially considering one of your closest friends was crushed by a boulder. 

So, maybe not a big house. Maybe just a small one. Not too small, of course. And you'll have loads of money left over to do whatever you want with. But. . . that doesn't feel right either.

It seems wrong to use these precious artifacts for your own use. They belong in a museum. It's probably not what Mark would have wanted, but he's a pancake now and who cares what a pancake wants?

"Well, hey there." You looked up at the sound of a cracking whip. There above you was Illinois, strapping as ever. "Need a lift?" He lowered a rope toward you. You pocketed the artifacts away and grabbed onto the rope. Illinois lifted you up onto the surface and helped you onto your feet. "Didn't expect to see you again. Guess you just couldn't stay away could you? I don't blame you. I mean, how many times are you able to meet someone as amazing as me?"

Silently, you took out the artifacts, showing them to Illinois. He raised his eyebrows. "Woah. Where'd you get these?" he asked as he took them in his hand. After a moment of examination he spoke once more. "I need to get these to a museum." He look to you, an eyebrow raised. "You willing to join me?"

Yes Please - [Chapter 21](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62854159)

No Thanks - [Chapter 22](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62915200)


	10. Chapter 9

Illinois lied limp on the ground. You have killed him in cold blood. But. . . it felt good. No one holding you back now. Just you and the statue like it always should have been.

The monkeys still whooping in your ears, you moved on from Illinois' body. You didn't know where you were going or why you wanted to go in this direction, but the statue called.

You never knew such power before, it was. . . uplifting. You've always been tied down with people like Mark and Illinois, but now, you're your own person. You can make your choices. You can do whatever you please.

It's exciting - endless possibilities. . . .

A loud panting disturbed you from your thoughts. You turned, finding Mark. He had his hands on his knees, catching his breath. His suit was a little worse for wear, but he seemed. . . unscathed. The whooping in your ears quieted for a moment.

"You would not believe. . . what I had to go through back there." He stood up. "Thanks for the help by the way." He brushed himself off and opened his mouth to say something else when he spotted the statue in your hands. "You. . . opened the box?" Mark looked to you and slowly formed a nervous smile, holding his hands up in what seemed to be defense. "Did you do something new with your eyes? They look. . . different- uh, good different! A very good different."

The monkeys in your ears began to rise in volume. Defensively, you brought the statue closer to your chest. "Hey, how about, uh, you let me hold the statue for a bit, huh? You've been doing so much work, you-you deserve a break."

He was trying to take your statue away! He's trying to take away your power! Are you going to let him do that? Take away everything you have ever wanted?

Yeah, Sure - [Chapter 23](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62922313)

Never - [Chapter 24](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62922781)


	11. Chapter 10

You never knew how good life could be until Captain Magnum. . . kinda kidnapped you and forced you to live out on the sea. But, slight kidnapping aside, you had never felt more alive. Sailing the seven seas with your new family and discovering treasures beyond legend. It was truly the dream.

Who would've thought that this life of adventure could be achieved by simply robbing a museum, escaping through the sewer, and having your partner in crime drown horribly. 

You took in a deep breath, savoring the salty smell of the sea only to choke on it as Captain Magnum clapped a large hand on your back. He laughed heartily as you regained your breath.

"Didn't mean ta sneak on ya there! Y'right?" Coughing, you nodded, giving a thumbs up. "Good! 'Cause I have sometin' to share wit ya. Come wit me." The captain stomped off toward his comically large office. You gathered yourself before following him, ignoring the jealous glare you received from Magnum's first mate.

You opened the door to his office just as Magnum sat down. The sheer force of it almost made you hit your head on the top of the doorway. "Come in, come in." You closed the door and took a seat across from him. "D'ya know why you're here?" You shook your head. "Good. 'Cause otherwise, I might be suspicious of ye." Without warning, Magnum slammed down the old map of the Treasured Gold. "I found sometin' interestin' while bein' knee deep in nostalgia."

He flipped over the map and took out a bizarre gadget with a variety of magnifying glasses. He fiddled with it for a moment before scooting his chair over to the side, letting the sunlight from his window shine through. "Take a look, laddie." You were confused to say the least, but you got up none the less to inspect the map. "Careful o' the light now, ye don't wanna block it."

You peered down at the blank piece of paper through the magnifying glasses. In a yellow text there was a riddle. It read:

"_Hear my songs from cross the seas, _

_Through raging rivers_

_And o'er reefs_

_Will you find me_

_With the man o' dreams_"

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. You turned to Magnum, wondering how he found this out. "As a man at sea, the smell o' lemon is rare. So I knew either I had a touch o' the sea madness - which obviously wasn't true, look at me - or I was sniffin' out treasures. Though, I haven't a clue as to what this means. So, I used me big brain and decided that ye would know what this all meant. Ya did lead us to the Treasured Gold, after all. So, what d'ya say?"

Sounds Like Mermaids - [Chapter 25](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/63024352)

Sounds Like More Treasure - [Chapter 26](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/63110518)


	12. Chapter 11

You wake up at the bottom of the pit, feeling something warm trickling down your face. Your head ached and your body was heavily protesting against any sort of movement, but still, you sat up. You think your arm might be broken.

The splashing of water turned your attention toward what appeared to be an entrance to the ocean. Slowly, you stood up, cradling your injured arm as you moved toward the water. Looking down at your reflection you found that there was some blood running down your face and your arm was definitely broken. You sighed, wondering if you could've prevented this.

. . .

Hold on. What was that noise? It sounded like. . . singing.

You squinted at the depths of the water, swearing that you could see something moving. You jumped as something emerged from the depths, causing you to lose your balance and fall on your back. You waited in anticipation as the singing grew louder and louder until. . . a man came up from the water. He looked like Mark, but obviously was not Mark because of his distinct characteristics such as the two seashells over his chest and the slicked back hair.

" _'Cause I don't wanna be free! _Oh!" He jumped back in surprise. "Sorry, I didn't expect to see you here. People usually don't come here unless they're stupid or have a death wish. . . or both. Anyway, what brings _you_ down here?" A pink tail fin stuck up from behind the man. With your good arm, you pointed at it. "What? What's wrong? Something on my face?" He turned around, seeing the tail fin. "Ohhh, that's right, I keep forgetting you two-legs don't have tails."

He raised his eyebrows and placed his hands over his mouth. "Was that insensitive? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to insult you people- your people!" He sighed. "Sorry. Let's start over?" He held out his hand and smiled politely. "My name is Shelldon and no, it's not a pun. Nice to meet you." Slowly, you took his hand and shook it. Shelldon then folded his arms on the rocky ground. "So, what's a human like you doing in a place like this? N-not that humans should be resigned to certain parts of the world. . . I'm going to shut up now."

You regale Shelldon of your riveting heist that only resulted in you and your partner not reveling in your victory, but the betrayal of your beloved Captain Magnum. By the end of it, Shelldon's eyes were watering something fierce. "I swear I'm not crying, I'm just severely dehydrated." Shelldon sniffed, hurriedly wiping at his eyes. The merman recomposed himself and spoke. "We gotta get you out of here."

You narrowed your eyes at the merman. 

We? - [Chapter 27](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/63111070)

Thanks and also Yes Please - [Chapter 28](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/63253918)


	13. Chapter 12

It's been a week since you escaped Happy Trails' Petitionary. You didn't bother going out of state lines considering how laid back security was for Happy Trails, though, you did get a new home. How did you afford that? You walked back to base with tears in your eyes explaining how the mission went wrong and Mark died along the way all for an empty - but fancy looking - box.

You are an excellent liar. . . . Or perhaps HQ is just that stupid. Regardless, they paid you for your job semi-well done and gave you a bit extra for your "grievance".

That reminds you, you gotta break it to Mark that he died once he gets out of the hospital. You know he's not going to take it well, but it's better than lying to him and saying he simply went to a farm upstate so that he could frolick and play with all of the other Marks.

But, for now, you can put that aside and start planning what you're going to do now. You've got a home, stable income, no new missions for a while, and a skeleton key that can open any lock.

You could assemble a good security guard outfit, break into a bank. . . . But, you don't really need the money.

You could pull a better heist and this time actually stick to the plan. . . . Though, what would you do with artifacts if not sell them? It'd really only be for the thrill factor and is that really worth going through all the trouble?

You could sneak into any place of entertainment really and never have to buy a ticket, but that isn't what you want, is it?

You want to go back and free him. Why? Maybe you want to pay him back. Maybe you feel pity for him. Or maybe - just maybe - Yancy's true crime was stealing your heart. . . and killing his parents.

Nevertheless, Yancy never truly left your mind ever since he helped you escape. 

You shouldn't go back for him. He went through all that trouble to free you and not to mention Mr. Murderslaughter would have your head on a silver platter if he caught you there again. You should probably just forget about the jail and check up on Mark, right?

Free Yancy - Chapter 29

Go to Mark - Chapter 30


	14. Chapter 13

Slowly, your eyes open, the blinding white of the infirmary hurting them. Your body ached and you felt as if you could die.

"They got you too, huh?" You turned your head toward the sound of the familiar voice. "Yeah, I don't think rallying the prisoners was a good idea." It was Mark, though you wouldn't have known until he spoke. He was entirely covered with bandages. Jimmy the Pickle really did a number on him and not a musical one, unlike Yancy. "What are we going to tell Headquarters?"

Even though you two were not exactly in condition for a prison break, you knew that there was a way to get you two out of here. You'll just have to wait for the right opportunity. . . . Though, these infirmary beds were fairly comfortable, not to mention you won't have to pay a hospital bill and after all of this you may finally get to see Yancy's side of the story. 

You turned to Mark, preparing to tell him your verdict when he interrupted you. "Not so fast, buster. I don't know if you can tell, but your last plan didn't go so well. So, I'm going to follow my own plan which is getting out of this!" Mark attempted to move. "Ah!" He paused. He tried again only for it to result in pain once again. He took in some hurried breaths as he tried again. "God-!" He took another pause. . . only to try once more, cursing as he did so. "Hey, how about you tell me your own plan? Not because I'm bailing on my own, I just want to know so I can rate how dumb and inferior it is to my plan."

As you think your decisions over Mark continues to subject himself to horrible pain for he either has no self control, too much pride, is a masochist, or all of the above.

Tell Him Your Plan - Chapter 31

Tell Him to Stop - Chapter 32


	15. Chapter 14

You pointed at the _Warfstache Tonight! _poster. Wilford twisted around. "Ah, right! The interview." He turned around and threw his gun over the shoulder, having it going off with a bang, though he didn't so much as flinch. "You really had me going there for a moment I thought we were in for something dreadfully boring." He laughed. "I'd have to kill you for that."

Wilford made his way back over to his seat and you followed, taking your own chair once again. "Alright! Once more with feeling, eh? Start the music!" The music came on along with the lights that hid the lack of crew members as the cameras turned and began recording. "Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Wilford Warfstache and we are back from our interruption with the one and only. . . eh, them. You still have that notebook, right?"

You took out the notebook and pen Wilford had given you at the beginning of this interview and nodded. "Good, good. Now, the word is on the street that in the time we were gone you have started another adventure! Is that true? Don't worry, I'm not the jealous type. My partner's partners however. . ." Wilford drifted off as you wrote a response.

"Have you met any new suitors? Friends perhaps?" Wilford gasped. "Or even mystical creatures? Spill the soup!" You wrote up your experiences thus far, though they were limited. "What do you expect is to happen next? After all, it's much too early for an adventure to end, don't you think? Don't worry about misspelling words, pure gibberish is my specialty." Wilford took a moment to allow you to write before asking you the next question. "Alright, it's time to get serious."

The lights dimmed and the spotlights were on you. From a garter in which you didn't think Wilford was wearing before, a knife was pulled out and directed toward you. "What do you think so far? Be truthful!" Slightly scared, you wrote your response as honestly as possible. Before you knew it the tension released as the lights went back on and Wilford toyed with his knife. "Well, it appears our interview is coming to an end, but! We have time for one more question and it better be good."

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. Were you now interviewing Wilford? "Well, come on, I don't have all day." He paused. "Is it day? . . . Has it been a day? I haven't a clue."

You can now ask Wilford one last question. But, what will it be? You looked around. Behind Wilford was the open door to Kathryn's office, you still haven't seen the inside of it. Beside him was the wall with the two posters pasted onto them, the tour was still something of interest.

"You know, you look around a lot when you make choices. That's really weird, don't you think?"

Ask About the Tour - [Chapter 15](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/58550812)

Ask About Kathryn's Office - Chapter 33


	16. Chapter 15

You pointed at the tour poster on the wall. Wilford turned around. "So you want to know about the tour, eh? Well, I haven't been able to give one in a long time, but I believe I can whip something up. Step this way." Wilford gestured over to an entrance lined with velvet rope.

You walked over to the entrance and looked to Wilford for further instruction. . . only to see that he was gone. Typical. Your eyes drifted over to the velvet rope and absentmindedly, you reached out and stroked it. 

"Hey!" You jumped, facing forward to find Wilford standing in front of you with a tour guide flag and cap. "Velvet is not cheap, believe it or not we can't afford a couple decades of wear and tear caused by your grubby fingers!" You looked down at your hands in confusion. "Now, whoever you are, keep your hands and feet and other extremities inside the tour at all times. And strap in, you'll never know what may happen," Wilford warned darkly.

Wilford took you by the hand and led you upstairs into. . . a very fancy looking office building. "This here is the first floor where we keep the more. . . tamer people. That's code for boring by the way." You raised an eyebrow at Wilford before had fallen down beside you. You looked down, seeing a rather nervous young man with glasses and prosthetic legs.

"Ah! S-sorry, uh, your-your. . . you!" You went to help him up, but he's already scrambled back up, gathering his papers. He gave a quick nod to Wilford. "Mr. Barnum." And with that he ran off.

Wilford sighed. "That's Eric, he's always so on edge. I keep telling him to relax but that only makes him panic more." Wilford continued to stroll down the first floor, you following close behind. "To your right up ahead you'll find a bulletin board filled with notices and whatnot. Feel free to ignore it, I do!"

You turned your attention to the bullet board, seeing all sorts of notices on different slips of paper in majorly different hand writing. It was all incredibly diverse and creative to say the least, there even seemed to be a small piece of a conspiracy board in there. You went to fully inspect it when Wilford had interrupted. "Hey, no dilly dallying, we're on a tight schedule. Lots of people to see and places to meet!"

Taking you by the hand once more, Wilford brought you down the narrow and rather beige hallway, only a few offices lined with glass disrupting the monotonous pattern of plain doors and walls.

Warfstache came to a sudden stop at one of the said offices. "Right here is the natural habitat of a total prude." You looked in, seeing a bald man in a detective's uniform, staring at a conspiracy board as he released what seemed to be a large cloud of vape. "He's fun if you can get him to loosen up a little, though. Quite the dancer actually." You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

The man in question threw a glance at you and narrowed his eyes. "Uh-oh, he's spotted us."

"Hey!" the man called, getting up from his seat, racing to the door.

"Let's go!" You were rushed along to the elevator, a vape cloud in high pursuit. 

"Get back here!" You were shoved into the elevator along with Wilford as the detective emerged from the cloud. "Colonel!"

Wilford waved at the detective while the doors closed. "So long, Abe!"

"Partner!" The doors closed and you were off to the second floor.

"Apologies for that, he can be a bit excitable. Much like an old dog that one, something something and he'll be barking mad." The elevator dinged, notifying you that you have reached your floor. The doors opened, revealing what appeared to be a medical ward. "This here is the infirmary. It used to be the place where we held paintball tournaments but after _somebody_ brought a real gun the nerds decided to make it the infirmary." 

With the way that was phrased you couldn't tell who exactly Wilford was blaming, but it's a bit obvious who brought a gun to a paintball fight. "We don't have many doctors around here, but a lot of patients. Though, you'd be surprised how quickly they get out of here. Look." Wilford opened a door to what appeared to be a doctor's office.

He was sitting across from his patient, staring down at his clipboard. "Well, I ran your tests and. . . well, I don't know how to say this. You're dying."

"I only said I get nervous on airplanes-"

"You're dying."

Wilford closed the door. "See? Very efficient work going on here. Anywho, step this way, step this way, we have no time to waste." Despite never seeing another elevator coming in you were crammed once more into a different elevator and lead up to the third floor.

This time instead of seeing a long hallway lined with offices you were greeted by two androids both with polar opposite energies.

"Hello, I am Google, how may I assist you?"

"Sup? I'm Bing rhymes with bling and. . . ring. How can I assist you, bro?"

"Do not allow him to assist you, he is my inferior counterpart."

"Pshh, says you. I can pull up everything he can and more." Bing took a step forward. "I'm talking about porn," he whispered.

"Bing is a fool. I can come up with results at a much more sufficient speed."

"Heh-heh, that's what she said."

"False," Google responded.

"You're false," Bing retaliated.

"You kick dogs," Google stated.

"You kill people."

"It's shown that humans empathize with lower level beings much more than their own kind."

"Where?" A screen popped up, showing a creditable article on that specific topic. "Oh."

Wilford leaned over to you. "Let's go before this gets ugly." Carefully, you and Wilford snuck by the two arguing browsers and arrived in the main offices. "Good, now that that's settled let me show you the main offices where we hold meetings and such like."

It has just dawned on you that you are this far into the tour and you still don't know what kind of business is dealt here. Though, at this point you're not exactly sure you want to know. "The people here are slightly more lively than the first floor mostly because I'm not even sure if most of them are people."

Two young men that appeared to be identical came sprinting down through the commons, camera and microphone clutched in their hands. "Run, Jim! Run!" Wilford pulled you out of their way as they made it for the staircase.

"Those two are always in a rush. Never understood why what with time being the way it is." Wilford continued along, passing office after office showcasing numerous of people doing a variety of bizarre activities. Feeding squirrels, having a bidding of what seemed to be children, and even holding an entire game show. 

Extremely confused, you raised your hands to ask a question. Without looking at you, Wilford spoke. "Keep all questions until the end of the tour. And mind your fingers, never know what might be crawling around here." You lowered your hand quickly. 

Wilford suddenly turned to you, making you jump. "Now, I am liable to give you a warning of the main event before we move on, but it's a whole boring spiel. I'm sure you don't want to hear it." You vigorously shook your head. You'd like to know what is in this tour that someone has to be liable to warn you about. Though, Wilford didn't seem to get the message. "Yeah, you get it. Come along."

You're really doing this, aren't you? Reluctantly, you followed the questionable tour guide to a very peculiar looking door. Unlike the rest it was completely black and wooden with a silver doorknob and there were no windows beside it looking into whatever this room was.

Wilford placed his hands on his hips. "A domain of evil this is." He stepped aside, allowing you some room. "But in we must go." You looked to Wilford skeptically, but stepped forward none the less. You signed up for this tour after all, you might as well finish it.

You put your hand on the doorknob and with a deep breath-

"What are you doing here?" You spun around, seeing a gray skinned man in a white suit. He had his jacket draped over his arm and he looked awfully tired.

"Oh! Ah- Damien, I was just- we were uh. . ."

He sighed. "I told you no more tours."

"I know, but-"

"But nothing. Send them back."

Wilford sputtered for a moment. "Don't they get a choice in this matter?"

He surveyed you before turning back to will. "No." You threw your hands up.

"Oh, rubbish!" Wilford turned to you. "Ignore him, what do you want to do?"

"Will, please don't make this a thing."

"Oh, don't be a stick in the mud, Damien."

"I will call Kathryn if I must."

Wilford glanced over at him nervously. "Very funny, Damien."

"I'm serious."

Wilford looked back at you. "Make a decision! . . . Quickly!"

Continue the Tour - Chapter 34

I Think I've Seen Enough - Chapter 35


	17. Chapter 16

You reached into your back pocket and pulled out your phone, carefully sitting down as to not wrinkle your outfit.

Your page was filled with all sorts of people surrounded by hearts and enveloped in all shades of red. It was Valentines Day so truly you shouldn't be surprised as to seeing so many people celebrating it. But, it still caught you off guard.

This date with Mark didn't exactly feel as anything romantic or at the very least not something as over the top romantic as Valentines Day. It was just another adventure, an adventure between two good friends. But, who knows? Anything could happen. Maybe something might spark between you two.

Just then a notification popped up. Some news article with the title of "Infamous Manor's Anniversary of. . ." 

Interesting. Should you read it?

Read the Article - Chapter 36

Get to Restaurant - [Chapter 18](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62814970)


	18. Chapter 17

Doesn't hurt to make sure everything's in the right place. You walked up to the mirror, smoothing out your clothes, adjusting your accessories. You looked into the glass and smiled. You are just too darn cute.

You were just about to go about your business when you spotted something else in the mirror. It. . . looked like a shadow and it was getting closer. You turned, seeing nothing behind you. You turned back at the mirror in confusion for the shadow did not disappear.

What should you do?

Inspect the Shadow - Chapter 37

It's Probably Nothing - [Chapter 18](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/62814970)


	19. Chapter 18

The restaurant is a bit of a drive, you should get going. You grabbed your necessities and headed out the door, getting ready for your date with the one and only, Mark Iplier.

* * *

You arrived at the restaurant seemingly just in time. Wasting no time, you approached the door, preparing to open it when a staff member was courteous enough to do it for you.

"Bonjour!" he greeted.

You stepped through the door going up to the host to ask about Mark. "Ah, bonjour! Your table awaits!" Well, that was easy.

You passed the host to find Mark, already seated at the table, placing his napkin onto his lap. . . . This is weird, why is this weird?

Mark smiled up at you. "Oh, hi!" You sat down across from him. "I've got something for you." A rose, you thought. From Mark's jacket came a rose. . . . Wait, how did you know that? "A rose!" Mark took a sniff of it and tossed it aside. "Do you-" and in come the waiters with your waters that you didn't order. "Oh! Bonjour!" Bonsoir. "Bonsoir!"

What is happening? "You look great! It's nice to see you outside of a prison uniform!" Mark laughed, but you didn't get the joke. Though, neither did he it seemed. "What am I talking about?" The salads that yet again, you did not order came in, distracting him momentarily. "Oh!" And just as Mark got a whiff of them they were gone. "Good year. . ." he said with less enthusiasm than expected.

He turned back to you and though you felt he was going to say something along the lines of wanting to get to know you better, you knew that you two have known each other for longer than that. Or. . . you think you have. "What have you been doing since the museum?" he asked, though it didn't look like he meant it, he obviously had something else going on in his mind.

You didn't have time to respond when your entree that yet again you did - not - order came and went. "Oh!" Mark got a deep inhale before the waiters took the plates away. What kind of a restaurant was this? Mark looked back to you, confusion growing on his face. "Don't take this the wrong way, but have we dated before? Because this seems. . . freakishly familiar."

You agreed. Ever since you stepped foot in this restaurant you've had this overwhelming feeling of deja vu.

The desserts were dished out only to be taken away, though, this time Mark didn't have the usual reaction to it. He simply moved out of the way while the waiters exchanged the plates. He paused for a moment before leaning over onto the table. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there going to be a big, scary chef here in few moments asking for us to pay?"

You nodded. Mark's expression tensed. "I don't know what's going on, but we have to get out of here before things go bad. What's your plan?"

Dine and Dash - Chapter 38

Pay - Chapter 39


	20. Chapter 19

He looked on with slight disappointment. "Hm. Don't know what else I expected from you, but it's your choice." The box disappeared as he stood up. He held out his hand. "Come."

Hesitantly, you accepted his hand and followed him into the darkness. "I've truly never understood your thirst for answers, it doesn't exactly help you or others. Sometimes it even brings more disappointment than it does pleasure." He came to a stop, holding his hands behind his back as he turned to you. "Though, it seems you thrive off of the suffering of it all. That I may understand. It makes things interesting, doesn't it?"

A portrait appeared behind him, depicting the Actor in his final scene. You can still hear his laugh. "The one thing we all have in common. We all love a good story." The potrait chipped away and it was like it was never there in the first place. "And what is one without conflict?"

A light came on, drawing your attention away from the man in the white suit. It was a pedestal with a book lying atop it. You glanced at him briefly before going forward toward the pedestal.

It. . . looked like a choose your own adventure book. It was opened on chapter nineteen: The Box. . . . Wait, it can't be. You went to touch it when he interrupted. "Be careful with that." You peered over your shoulder, finding he was practically beside you now. "Don't want to be spoiled now, do we?"

He reached over, placing his finger underneath the first page. He looked up at you, a stern expression on his face. "Before I do this, are you sure about your decision?" You nodded. "Very well then." He smiled. "May we see each other again." 

He flipped the page and all went Dark.

From the Beginning

_Ending 1 of ?_

[Try Again?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50664965)


	21. Chapter 20

"Then we have no need for this." The box disappeared, leaving only you and him. "While I am impressed you have chosen this route, I am burdened with the fact that you will eventually go back for it. But, that's what too much information does to you. Burdens the mind and soul. Trust me, I know it all too well." His voice echoed in but a whisper.

He folded his hands atop the table, leaning forward. "Something more, hm? Well, whatever you want I can provide for you. I am aware we still have an unfinished date if you're still interested." The table flickered for a moment, showing it was set up for a dinner. "Or I could take you elsewhere, opening up a whole new world for you. Could be a trip down memory lane, the backstage of it all, or mayhaps something else if that so pleases you.

This is your one and only opportunity to see worlds you'd never had considered before. Choose wisely."

A Date With Darkiplier - Chapter 40

Trip Down Memory Lane - Chapter 41

The Backstage - Chapter 42

Something Else - Chapter 43


	22. Chapter 21

You nodded eagerly. "Alright," Illinois drawled. "I know a museum not too far from here, not much of a trip, but with these artifacts? It's bound to get interesting." Illinois pocketed the artifacts and lead you down a dirt trail, surrounded by tall grass. "Keep those peepers peeled, partner, never know what we might run into."

After a moment, Illinois began to slow. "Well, would you look at that." You walked over to his side to see what he was talking about and there it was, the helicopter you had declined to take. "Talk about going in style." He looked over to you. "What'd you say, huh? I bet this would make for faster travel."

You looked to the helicopter and thought it over for a moment. . . . You can't exactly fly a helicopter, but man, how cool it'd be if you could. You shook your head. "No sweat, I don't even know how to fly a helicopter. Let's keep moving, unless you'd like to stand around and watch me." _Whapoosh. _

The two of you went on, the helicopter becoming distant, though not the thought of it. You didn't know why but the helicopter reminded you of something, something important but you can't recall what. . . . Eh, it's probably fine, right? "Gotta say, this is much more peaceful than I'm used to. Usually there'd be a giant boulder by now, or tranquilizer darts, or my die hard fans begging me for autographs-"

You paused as the two of you approached the main road. Police sirens could be heard in the distance and you suddenly remembered. You're still on the run from the law.

You dove into the tall grass as the sirens grew louder. "Partner?" You grabbed Illinois's wrist and pulled him down with you as the police cars sped down the road. "Ah, not that I mind you wanting my attention - in fact, I expect it - but, what was that about?"

You turned to him nervously. Illinois narrowed his eyes. ". . . You're not on the run, are you? I like a bit of trouble as much as the next drop dead gorgeous adventurer, but an outlaw is another thing entirely." You weren't quite sure if "another thing entirely" was good or not.

Should you risk it?

Tell Him the Truth - Chapter 44

Criminal Record? Never Heard of Her - Chapter 45


	23. Chapter 22

You shook your head. Illinois shrugged, a lazy smile on his face. "Have it your way." He pocketed the artifacts. "I'll see you around, kid." _Whapoosh. _With that, he sauntered off. Well, what now?

You turned, headquarters is still waiting for you and Mark to head back after your mission. . . though, they must be expecting you to show up with the box or at least some sort of artifact. . . . And you just handed that over to Illinois. Kinda stupid of you, really.

Though, with Mark dead you suppose you can go in with some sort of sob story of the mission going wrong. Which, that might actually give you some nice benefits now that you think about it-

"Hey. Hey!" You turned, seeing a very disheveled, but a very alive Mark. Damn it. "You left me back there!" He scoffed, brushing himself off. "You're lucky I got out of there, no thanks to you!" He paused, his eyes starting to widen. "Where's the box?"

You adverted your eyes. He laughed a bit. "You-you didn't lose it. . . did you?" His smile faded. "Don't tell me you lost it." After a very tense moment, Mark groaned, running his hands down his face. He took a deep breath. "Okay. It's okay. It's only a box with an evil monkey statue capable of mass destruction inside it. Nothing to worry about it."

He looked back to you. "Do you remember the last time you saw it?"

Well, you could tell him the truth and go back to fetch the artifact which without a doubt is going to be dangerous. Or maybe you can avoid the trouble and maybe stop Illinois before he reaches the museum.

Yes - Chapter 46

No - Chapter 47


	24. Chapter 23

You looked at Mark then at the statue. Pausing, you looked at Mark then back at the statue. Mark, statue. Mark, statue. Mark, statue. Mark. . . statue.

"Hey, buddy." You looked at Mark once more, the whooping in your ears beginning to quiet. "How about that statue, huh?" he asked with a nervous smile.

You narrowed your eyes at Mark, the monkeys louder than ever. After a very tense instant, you straightened your posture and gave up the statue with ease, the monkeys finally ceasing their noise. Mark chuckled as he gratefully took the statue away from you. "You had me going there for a minute. I thought you were going to kill me. But, you wouldn't do that, would you?"

You waved your hand dismissively. "I'm not really sure if that means you won't kill me or to not worry about it." You shrugged. "I'm just gonna hope for the former. Anyway, now that the monkey's out of the box, we have to move onto phase. . . wait a minute, how many phases have we gone through?" Mark didn't give you time to respond. "Doesn't matter. What does is getting this idol to our buyer so that we can get lots of cash. What do you say?"

It Belongs in a Museum - Chapter 48

Money! Money! Money! - Chapter 49


	25. Chapter 24

You looked at Mark then at the statue. Pausing, you looked at Mark then back at the statue. Mark, statue. Mark, statue. Mark, statue. Mark. . . statue.

"Hey." You looked at Mark once more, the whooping in your ears beginning to quiet. "How about that statue, huh?" he asked with a nervous smile.

You narrowed your eyes at Mark, the monkeys louder than ever. After a very long moment, you stood up, statue in hand, ready to strike-!

A crack of a whip and your hand came to a full stop. You turned around to see Illinois, injured, but alive. "Hey there, kid." _Whapoosh_.

"Did- was that a whip crack when you winked-" 

Illinois tugged on his whip, sending you backwards, the idol flying out of your hand. Illinois caught the statue as you fell to the ground.

You scrambled up, running towards the adventurer with ill intent. You lurched for the idol, attempting to yank it from Illinois's clutches. As the two of you pulled the idol back and forth you could faintly hear the monkeys and their wondrous song yet again. You need them back. You need your power back.

Illinois chuckled slightly. "Y'know if you wanted to get closer to me there's other ways to do that," he attempted to joke. You were not amused. Illinois peered over your shoulder. "Hey!" he whistled. "Not-as-pretty-boy, little help?"

"What do you want me to do?!"

You turned and at that same moment, Illinois took the idol from your hands. "That!" He hit it over your head causing you to fall back onto the ground. The whooping of monkeys becoming fainter and fainter as you spiraled into unconsciousness. Illinois sighed. "Sorry it had to go this way, kid."

Mark ran over to you while your eyelids began to droop. "Wait, wait! Partner! C'mon, don't leave me like this." You waved Mark toward you. "What's that? You need to tell me something?" Weakly, you nod. Mark leaned in close. "What is it, buddy?" You wrapped your hands around Mark's throat, throttling him. Through his wheezes he managed to choke out, "Little help?"

Illinois brought down the statue once more and all went dark.

See You Around, Kid

_Ending 2 of ?_

[Try Again?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278276/chapters/50664965)


	26. Chapter 25

"Mermaids, eh? Those aren't the kind o' things to be trifled with. I once dated a mermaid. Did _not _go well when I wanted to try a new sushi bar. He got all huffy goin' on this big rant about how killing fish was 'not eco-friendly' and was 'wrong' and 'cannibalistic'. Well, how was I s'pposed t'know what ya don't like, Steve?! Ya never talk to me!" 

Magnum turned to you, ceasing his mildly uncomfortable rant. "But I'm sure with ya by me side we'll be just fine." Magnum raised an eyebrow. "Right?" Hastily, you nodded. The captain smiled, standing up from his seat, clapping a powerful hand onto your shoulder. "I knew I could count on ye! 'Cause if I didn't you'd be fired out of a canon."

Magnum gave you a very serious look before bursting into laughter. "Alright! So what do ya suppose we do? Mermaids ain't the most friendly of sea folk, but they may prove useful to us. Who knows? They might lead us to treasure. . . or doom. There are some that are told to eat humans and wreck ships. Which was why I told Steve he was bein' hypocritcal 'bout me eatin' fish and he said 'not all mermaids are like that' and I said-"

It looks like Magnum is just going to keep going unless you speak up. You should make a decision before he drags you in for an opinion.

Go After the Mermaids - Chapter 50

Play it Safe - Chapter 51


	27. Chapter 26

Magnum laughed heartily. "I always like the sound o' that!" He stood up from his seat and clapped you on the back, nearly sending you tumbling. "What are we doin' standin' 'round here fer?! Let's set sail! There's treasure to be had!" Magnum went to exit his office only to pause, staring down at the map. ". . . Somewhere."

He rotated the map a few times. "Can't be the same island, we would've bumped into it," he murmured.

Magnum mumbling the poem to himself before concluding that he had no clue where to go. He looked up at you, eyes narrowed. "Now, laddie. Y'know I love ya like the child I never had, right?" Slowly, you nodded. "And I trust ya like said nonexistent child. Which is why I'm about to allow you to decipher this map for me." Magnum rolled up the parchment, offering it up to you only to snatch it away once you reached for it. "If I find out 'bout you showin' this map to anyone else, I'll have to send ya o'er board, got that?"

You nodded. Magnum smiled, handing the map over which you took in shaky hands. "Good."

You peeked over your shoulders to make sure no one could be watching from afar before slowly unfurling the map. You immediately grew confused. It was. . . a flowchart. A very complicated one at that. How could Magnum read this?

Magnum cleared his throat. "All right?" You held up a single finger, telling him to wait a moment.

Your eyes scanned down the page, hopping from path to path before finally reaching the compass of it all. The ink on North and South was heavily faded leaving only West and East. You don't think that's a coincidence. "What's bouncin' 'round in that noggin o' yours, laddie?"

Head West - Chapter 52

Head East - Chapter 53


	28. Chapter 27

You shook your head. "What? But, I could swim you out of here as long as you can hold your breath." You gave Shelldon a look, causing him to rethink his plan. "Well, with the distance and your gross human lungs it's like a 90-10 shot, but-" You shook your head once again as you shakily stood up. "You sure you can go out on your own? I mean your meat-sticks- bone vessels- uh. . . what do you call those useless tubes of flesh again?" Shelldon shook his head. "Doesn't matter. _You _don't seem fit to go anywhere."

You waved a dismissive hand. The merman huffed. "Always with you humans. You try to be good and help for once and all they give is the cold. . . legs! Legs that's what they're called! Just remembered." You started making your way toward what seemed to be an exit. "Oh, you're just walking away now. Great. Nice meeting you human I never learned the name of! I'm _sorry _I was so unhelpful!" With a splash of water he was gone.

You were on your own again. Suppose you'll have to find some way out of here then see if you can get any sort of medical help- you froze. From the depths of the cave you can see a large, animalistic shadow bouncing off the walls and coming toward you. Grunts and pants echoed throughout the cave as the mysterious figure grew closer and closer until. . .

Enter, Mark. Washed up, torn up, and more caveman-like than ever, but alive. He looked up at you and grinned. "Partner!" He went to hug you when you held up your severely broken arm. Mark recoiled, grimacing. "Oh! Looks like you're a little worse for wear." He furrowed his eyebrows. "What's with the pirate outfit?" 

You gestured vaguely. "Long story, got it. We've got to get you some help anyway. Come on, buddy, I know this place like the back of my hand." Momentarily, Mark glanced at the back of his head before nodding. "Was that freckle always there?" Despite hearing that concerning statement, you followed Mark throughout the cave.

Corner after corner, tunnel after tunnel, you and Mark ventured on for what seemed to be an eternity. At this point the pain in your arm was becoming something you could no longer ignore. You needed to get out of this cave before you pass out.

You placed a hand on Mark's shoulder, stopping him. "What is it?" He paused, seeing the look on your face. "Listen, I know where I'm going the way out is just. . ." he looked to the forked path before him, obviously unsure, "uh, one of these two paths." He stepped out, presenting the two choices. "Looks like we've found another dark and light tunnel. Light tunnel didn't end too well for us last time, but. . ." Mark glanced over at the dark tunnel in displeasure. "I doubt whatever is in there is any better than this."

Mark turned to you, a nervous smile on his face. "Please choose a good one. Please?"

Light Tunnel - Chapter 54

Dark Tunnel - Chapter 55


	29. Chapter 28

You nodded. "Alright! Okay. So, here's the plan. You take a deep breath and-" without warning, Shelldon grabbed your good arm and dragged you under the water. At the speed he was going it was very difficult to keep up with your surroundings, everything was just a big blue blur.

You held your breath for as long as you can, but it was to no avail. Your lungs eventually gave up, sea water replacing the air you had left and all went dark.

* * *

"C'mon, buddy, you gotta get up." You opened your eyes blearily, what looked like Mark stood over you, compressing your chest. "One, two, three!" He paused for a moment, checking for a heartbeat. You closed your eyes again. "I really hope I'm doing this right," you heard him murmur. "One, two, three!"

You opened your eyes again. "Stay open. Stay open!" You closed your eyes again. "Come on! It's only a little bit of sea water!" The compressing resumed before stopping again. Mark sighed. "This is going to be gross, but I have to do this."

Your eyes opened once more seeing Mark leaning down to kiss you. You coughed up the water from your lungs before pushing his face away. You laid on your side, continuing to sputter. "Oh, thank, Poseidon. I thought I almost lost you there."

You turned to him, your vision beginning to clear up. It was clear now that the man you had mistaken as Mark was actually Shelldon. It truly is odd how alike they are. "I was ready to hide your body, but I'm so glad you're alive!"

You looked around, seeing that you were now on an island. Slowly, you stood, brushing yourself off of sand. "Welcome to wrecked ships most popular island! Its got all sorts of fun human stuff. Like uh, coconuts and trees and caves, I think I found a water filter here once that some dude drank his own pee with, despite the fact he was surrounded by water. Oh! There's also sun bleached human bones! You guys like that, right? . . . No? Must be more of a mermaid thing.

Either way, you got plenty of things to do. Oh! Why don't you look for shelter? It's fun to watch people run away from bears in complete terror. Or you can make an SOS sign, that passes the time." You looked down at your very gross looking arm. "Oh, right. Human arms don't go like that. Yeah, you should probably get that treated first. But, you know, you do you."

You knitted your eyebrows, pointing at the merman. "Oh, what am I going to do? I like to just watch. I mean, I usually can't help anyway." He shook his tail for emphasize. "If it makes you feel better I can sing while you work."

You kept that in mind.

Find Shelter - Chapter 56

SOS - Chapter 57

Fix Arm - Chapter 58


	30. Chapter 29

You have to go back for him. There's no question for it. One last heist, the target this time being Yancy. 

Quickly, you fetched the map and flipped it over, drawing out a whole new plan, your excitement bursting within you.

Once done, you folded up the map and slipped it into your back pocket before hurrying off to retrieve your old heisting gear for one last ride.

Outfit and gear in tact, you took the key and snuck out of your house, sticking to walls, on the watch for pesky neighbors or security dogs. Surprisingly, none were in sight. Though, you never let your guard down through the whole venture to Happy Trails.

It wasn't long until you arrived at the jail. Unlike your neighborhood, the place was absolutely crawling with guards. You ducked down and scanned your surroundings. Beside you was a brick wall that seemed to have a wanted poster with your name on it. And alongside that was a convenient line of well-kept hedges.

Quickly, you somersaulted over to the wall and tore down the poster before hiding behind the hedges. Now that you were up close you could see that they were labelled "Heapass's Sweet Grasses". Must be one of the prisoner's works. Nice to know Happy Trails keeps their prisoners busy so they don't realize what's waiting for them in the outside world.

There's two ways you could infiltrate the prison. In the very unlikely case that the key doesn't work or perhaps it's a one-use thing, you could go in guns blazing, get Yancy, and get out before lunch.

. . . Or you _could _be all sneaky-like and get to a place to use the key discreetly. Y'know, like a boring person. But, hey, I'm not here to judge. You do you.

Guns A Blazin' - Chapter 59

All Sneaky Like - Chapter 60


End file.
